Have we talked about this?
I may have mentioned it.
Perhaps in passing,
perhaps even as an episode title?
(Perhaps in 2020 in IAmNotBritish
when I couldn't claim my own thoughts as my own.)
Are you ready?
NUMBER ONE: hear your own voice.
we have an inner voice, but often cannot hear it.
We ask everyone and their mothers
for advice on what to do,
while every answer
each one of us.
THE BODY TELLS THE TRUTH.
To be clear, these are non-cultured answers. Your answers may align with others, but they will not originate from others.
This is where you discover who you are, your identity.
This voice you trust. This voice you have faith in.
NUMBER TWO: give yourself permission to speak.
What do I want
as an eater,
as a worker,
as a wife or mother,
as a leader,
as a human.
The temptation, often, is to give away your preferences to others.
"I'll have what he's having."
"I'll vote how he's voting."
I'm certain I've talked about that.
R E A D Y ?
NUMBER THREE: commit to yourself.
This is the advanced stuff!
Most of us are taught from birth
to commit to our caregivers, school teachers, and church leaders.
Then we commit to a partner, a husband or wife.
We commit to our children.
(Many commit HARD to not being like our parents.)
What have you made hard commitments to?
Hmm, this would be a really fun exercise for me.
To take 100 people and
discover together what they have hard commitments to.
If I had to guess or remember
what my besties' hard commits were since 5th grade:
look attractive to men
hide the truth
to not fail
to please God above all else
not feel pain
not disappoint anyone
being seen, heard and understood
create change in the world
to help those who suffer.
Can you see yourself
or those in your circles
in this list?
Can see by this list that
we can commit to ANYTHING.
What I would like to promote is a commitment to YOU.
Today's Deep Breath: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.
When you can LISTEN for your own voice,
and practice SPEAKING what it is you really do want--
can you then COMMIT to yourself,
despite the desires or expectations of others?
Let's not even start with others.
Can you commit to what you want,
even when YOU have other desires?
Let's use the example of staying up late to watch Bridgerton:
I want to watch Bridgerton.
But I have made a commitment to go to sleep by 10pm every night.
No, let's not use that one. In that situation,
I want to break my commitment,
Let's use eating cake.
I am committed to eating cake only on my birthday or on the birthdays of those I really, truly love A LOT.
Like gave birth to or would die for.
I can think of five people off the top of my head, without traveling.
But then I see sliced cake in the bakery,
ready to put into the cart.
OOOO, and there are three flavor choices.
How nice of them to give me the opportunity to decide what I truly want.
This happens to me probably once a month.
Do you appreciate how
my thinking is?
to have an opportunity to make an empowered decision?
You may be thinking:
it's just cake.
It's not a big deal.
I eat cake whenever I want cake.
It's kind of a ridiculous example.
Food is something we all need and want.
Which makes this the perfect example.
Sugar and refined grains
cause little dopamine fireworks in your brain. (fact)
They are unnecessary for body function (fact)
so are 'extra,' (fact)
pleasurable, (fact, dopamine)
and entertaining. (thought)
My body reacted to the overeating of bakery food
and fatty liver disease.
My decision to eat cake a handful of times per year
is in reaction to those imbalances.
But my brain remembers all that pleasure and
sees no problem with "one more time."
Instead of the word addiction, I prefer the word PATTERN.
I can look at my habit trackers for the last 4 years and tell you what works for my body and what doesn't.
I have lots of data
from listening to
my body tell me
what it likes and what is harming it.
My body doesn't actually like the bakery.
My body likes the produce and whole grain aisles.
My body likes stuff that grows in and on the earth.
My body no longer has hormone imbalances.
My brain loves the bakery.
I feel like I took a left turn somewhere...
A little too much focus on cake...
Oh, right, commitments.
0.) I borrowed the wisdom of others until I could hear my own.
1.) I asked myself what I thought about things and listened for the answers.
2.) I started voicing my own preferences to myself and to others.
3.) Now I am making commitments to myself for my own well being.
NOW WE CAN GET UP AND DANCE!
Because life is that good when you honor and trust your own voice.